No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
