we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
