you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
