You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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