Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
