Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My orgasm happened in two different decades
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
