I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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