I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
