will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize