I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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