Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize