literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
