i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i think i have herpe
just one?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
