i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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