My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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