Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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