You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
