Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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