i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
love makes seman taste better
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
