wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
