I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
