she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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