Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
