So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
