He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
