So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
