Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
