let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
