hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
