The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's just like the Real World with babies
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
