i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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