last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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