try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
