holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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