Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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