my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
