WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
