He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize