You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My cat gives me a boner
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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