Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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