I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
