It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
