I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
