just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
