the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
