I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
