her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize