They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
