dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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