I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
