if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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