Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
