don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
