My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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