I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
