Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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