The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
