dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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