I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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