Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
