She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
