8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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