this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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