my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I party with great urgency now.
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